I know what it’s like to carry uncontrollable anger.

I know what it's like to feel its weight on your relationships, and to wrestle with the pain it creates.  I’ve walked the path.

Have you ever lashed out in anger, only to feel the unbearable weight of regret settle in afterward?

You didn’t mean to say those words, but they came out anyway: sharp, cutting, and impossible to take back. And they landed, not on just anyone, but on the person you love most.

It hurts, doesn’t it? That moment after the outburst. The silence feels heavy, suffocating even.

And when you look at their face, it’s filled with shock, sadness, or perhaps that quiet, resigned acceptance as they shrink away from you. You want so badly to take it back, but the damage is already done.

The air between you feels heavy, filled with tension. The connection feels distant, like it’s been stretched too far. And the guilt stays with you, sitting in your chest, hard to shake.

Your anger impacts those you love.

Think about what this does to the people you care about.

To your spouse or a loved one, who carries the pain of your words quietly because they love you but now feels unsure. They tiptoe around you, walking on eggshells, hoping to avoid your next eruption.

To your friend or sibling, who begins to pull back, afraid that closeness with you comes with hurt.

And then, to your child, who doesn’t understand your anger but takes it in anyway, like a sponge soaking up emotions they were never meant to carry.

Anger may leave lasting wounds on children.

When a parent lashes out at their child, it leaves wounds that often last a lifetime.

The harsh words, the frustration, the anger that had nothing to do with them but landed on them regardless. It fragments their sense of self.

The child doesn’t understand the complexity of your emotions. All they know is how your anger makes them feel: small, unworthy, not good enough.

These feelings sink deep into their hearts, becoming the foundation of their beliefs about themselves and the world.

Some children shut down completely. They grow quiet, too scared to express themselves, afraid that any sound will trigger more anger.

Others act out, pushing their pain outward as they bully or hurt others, trying to reclaim some sense of power.

Were you that child affected by anger being lashed at you?

If you grew up in a home where anger was a constant presence, where outbursts dominated the atmosphere, or if you were a child of a parent who often lashed out, shamed you, or picked on you, you probably understand now how deeply it shaped you.

It affected the way you see yourself, the way you trust others, and how you navigate the world.

We are not even talking about anger that comes with violent behavior. Imagine how much worse it can be. The recipients of anger may develop PTSD or chronic trauma when they live in a household where the people they love might harm them physically.

Today, I want to take you deeper into the hidden world of anger:

  • How it affects your body
  • What it truly is
  • How you can begin to release it

How It Affects Your Body

Years ago, a client brought her husband to me for energy clearing. He had carried years of pent-up anger. It was straining their marriage to the point where she was already considering divorce.

During our session, we worked to release this stagnant energy. Within hours, his body responded: he developed a fever.

This might seem alarming, but it is natural. The liver detoxifies both physical and emotional toxins.

When anger is released, the body often reacts as it recalibrates. Symptoms like fevers, fatigue, headaches, or digestive issues may appear.

But the effects of anger don’t stop there. Studies have shown that uncontrolled anger can increase your risk of a stroke by 50%.

Even worse, angry outbursts can multiply the risk of heart attacks or strokes nearly fivefold in the two hours following an episode.

When you think about it, the body isn’t just processing the emotion. It’s carrying the stress of it long after the moment has passed.

Modern science continues to confirm the deep connection between emotions and physical health. Chronic anger floods the body with stress hormones like cortisol.

Over time, this weakens the immune system, increases inflammation, and leads to serious conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and autoimmune disorders.

Anger energy carried by pregnant mothers doesn't stay with them too. The stress and emotional storms caused by anger flood the body, altering the very environment the baby is growing in.

Hormones shift. Tension rises. And the baby feels it all.

The emotions you carry shape them. What you cannot release becomes part of what they inherit.

Here are more statistics about anger and its impact on health if you’re curious: Learn more.

The Age-Old Link Between Emotions and Illness

This isn’t just about you. It’s something humanity has observed for centuries. From ancient healers to modern scientists, the link between emotions and physical health has been well-documented.

Knowing this can help you see your anger not as a personal failing, but as something you can work with and heal.

  • Hippocrates (the father of modern medicine) believed that health is about balance. When the body is not in harmony, it can lead to both physical and mental illness. He didn’t directly say that anger causes disease, but he understood that when your mind and body are out of sync, your health suffers.
     
  • Galen (a Greco-Roman physician) worked with gladiators who lived under extreme stress. He then noticed how strong emotions, like anger, slowed their healing and made them more vulnerable to illness.

   

  • In Traditional Chinese Medicine, anger has always been connected to the liver. When anger energy gets stuck, it blocks the liver’s natural flow, which can lead to headaches, irritability, and even chronic pain.

   

  • In the 20th century, researchers like Franz Alexander and Hans Selye showed how unresolved emotions can make us physically sick. Now, the field of psychoneuroimmunology confirms it.

  

The message is clear. Whether we look at ancient wisdom or modern research, anger is not just “in your head.” It lives in your body and it affects your overall health.

What Is Anger?

Anger is energy in motion. Emotions are waves of energy moving through you.

Think of a river. When water flows freely, the river thrives.

BUT:

If a dam is built, the water becomes stagnant and of course, over time, this creates problems.

Anger works in the same way. When suppressed, it festers. The pressure builds, and it can manifest as:

  • Chronic tension or pain
  • Emotional outbursts
  • Fatigue and burnout
  • Physical illnesses

Clearing anger is not about “calming down.” It is about freeing the energy that has been trapped.

When the energy moves again, your body and mind can begin to heal.

 

Types of Anger: Identifying What Needs Healing

Healing anger is not about removing it from your life. Anger is not the enemy.

In my book, Parenting Without Anger, I describe three distinct states of anger:

  • Anger as a destructive force. This is the volatile, explosive anger that causes harm. It leads to hurtful words, damaging actions, or self-sabotage.
  • Anger as internalised energy. This is suppressed anger that turns inward. It often appears as resentment, passive-aggressiveness, or lingering frustration, harming the person holding it.
  • Anger as empowerment. This is anger harnessed constructively. It can help you set boundaries, protect your values, or fuel positive change.

The goal is to resolve the first two states. They are the forms of anger that hurt, control, or limit us.

Empowered anger, on the other hand, can be a gift. It can help you stand up for yourself, speak your truth, and take meaningful action.

This kind of transformation requires patience and intention. Energy clearing is one way to help the process unfold. Over time, it can shift anger in powerful ways:

  • From violent outbursts to calm, manageable expressions
     
  • From emotional storms to quiet moments of reflection and clarity.
     
  • From frustration and bitterness to a sense of purpose and empowerment.

This process is not just for you. It is also for the people you love.

Healing Anger: 6 Steps to Begin Your Journey

Self-healing practices are essential, but structured approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), communication skills training, or formal anger management classes can also make a huge difference as they teach you how to recognise triggers, communicate effectively, and handle emotions in healthier ways.

Here’s how you can start on your own:

1. Emotional Awareness Practice

The first step to healing anger is awareness.

1) Name the anger

When you feel anger rising, pause and acknowledge it.

Say to yourself, “I feel the anger because…”

Naming your emotion gives you a moment of clarity and creates space between you and the reaction.

2) Identify the deeper trigger

Understand what fuels your anger. Often, anger is a surface emotion that masks deeper feelings such as grief, fear, or even physical health issues you might not recognise.

Sometimes, it’s tied to something hidden, something you didn’t realise you were carrying, like ancestral trauma (as discussed in last week’s letter).

Ask yourself, “What is this anger really about?” Look beyond the immediate situation. Is it connected to unmet needs, old wounds, or unaddressed fears?

Anger can also stem from unresolved grief or anxiety about losing control. Be honest with yourself as you explore these deeper layers.

3) Look for patterns

Keep a journal of your anger episodes.

Write down when it happens, what triggered it, and how you feel afterward.

Over time, you may notice patterns that reveal where your anger originates.

Does it come up in specific situations? With certain people? This is key to breaking the cycle.

4) Acknowledge your body’s signals

Your body often knows anger is coming before your mind does.

Pay attention to physical cues like:

- a tight chest,

- clenched jaw, or:

- racing heartbeat.

When you notice these signs, take a moment to pause and breathe deeply.

This helps interrupt the reaction and gives you a chance to respond differently.

2. Mindful Breathing and Grounding Techniques

Anger is a physiological response, and calming your body is one of the quickest ways to calm your mind.

  • Breathing Practice:

    • Inhale for 4 counts.
    • Hold your breath for 4 counts.
    • Exhale slowly for 6 counts.
    • Repeat 5–10 times.

This simple technique tells your nervous system to shift out of “fight or flight” mode, helping you regain control in moments of anger.

  • Grounding Exercise:

    • Focus on your feet. Feel them pressing against the floor.
    • Notice five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

These steps anchor you in the present moment, pulling you out of the spiral of anger and helping you feel more stable.

3. Simple Energy-Clearing Techniques for Daily Practice

Energy clearing is a powerful way to release anger from your body and energy field.

Here’s how to begin:

  • Hand on Heart Clearing:

    - Place one hand on your heart and the other on your solar plexus (just above your stomach).
    - Close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths.
    - Visualize the anger as a heavy cloud in your chest.
    - With each exhale, imagine that cloud lifting, dissolving into light.
     
  • Daily Check-ins:

    At the end of the day, take 5 minutes to tune into your body.
    - Ask yourself: “Where am I holding anger?”
    - Focus on that area, breathe into it, and imagine the tension softening and releasing.

4. NLP Techniques for Reframing Anger

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) offers tools to shift your perspective and relationship with anger:

  • Change the Internal Dialogue:

    Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself when you feel angry.

    Instead of fueling your frustration with thoughts like, “Why does this always happen to me?” or “I can’t believe they did that,” ask yourself more empowering questions:
    • “What can I learn from this?”
    • “How can I respond in a way that aligns with my values?
       
  • Anchor Calmness:

    Think of a time when you felt completely calm and at peace.
    Close your eyes, relive that moment, and squeeze your thumb and forefinger together.

    Practice this often until the gesture is tied to that sense of calm.

    In the future, when anger arises, use the same gesture to bring yourself back to that feeling.

5. Harness Anger for Empowerment

Anger can be destructive, but when channeled constructively, it becomes a force for good.

Here’s how you can use anger to empower yourself:

  • Creative Expression:

    Channel your anger into creative outlets like drawing, painting, or writing. These forms of expression can help you process and release overwhelming emotions
     
  • Physical Release:

    Engage in physical activities that help move anger out of your body. Whether it’s running, workout, dancing, punching a pillow, or even cleaning vigorously
     
  • Set Boundaries:

    Let your anger be a signal that something needs to change.

    Ask yourself, “What is this anger trying to protect?”

    Use that awareness to take assertive and healthy action instead of reacting impulsively.

6. Infuse Compassion into Relationships

Anger can strain your relationships, but compassion can create space for healing:

  • Repair After Outbursts:

    When anger causes harm, take responsibility. Apologize sincerely and explain what triggered your reaction. Be open about how you’re working to change. This honesty fosters connection and trust.
     
  • Practice Self-Compassion:
      
    Healing anger is a journey, and setbacks are normal. Be kind to yourself and stay committed. Over time, outbursts soften, and anger transforms from a master to a guide. Read this to understand the healing process roller coaster.

When Anger Runs Deeper Than You Realise

If your anger feels too deep or persistent, a deep energy clearing may help. Sometimes, the roots of anger run so deep that therapy or self-healing cannot reach them. These layers are complex and multilayered.

In my sessions, I use advanced dowsing, medical intuitive knowledge, and psychic abilities to uncover the root causes.

These might lie in your DNA, body organs, ancestral patterns, or even past life traumas. My goal is to detect and clear them while matching you with healing activities to help you heal faster.

Deep energy clearing works, but it takes time. Old wounds may resurface before they are released.

This is not a quick fix, which is why I always suggest trying self-healing and conventional therapies first. If this feels right for you, book a session with me here.

Next week, I will guide you through understanding one of the most overlooked but significant sources of emotional and physical health issues: spirit attachments.

I know it sounds unusual, but it is not something to fear. It is not “woo-woo” either. It all comes back to energy and how deeply connected our emotions, health, and bodies truly are.

For now, rest well. Be kind to yourself.

 

With love,
Shaya

  

Disclaimer:

The self-healing methods shared in this letter are intended to support your emotional and energetic well-being. They are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Results may vary, and it is important to consult a licensed healthcare or mental health professional if you are experiencing severe symptoms or distress.